It's like God shit irony all over that family
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
