This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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