No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize