he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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