I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
