So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
