Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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