Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
