It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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