my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
