your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Boobs are out for the taking
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize