I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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