So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
