I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Say something about gay babies.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
