hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
