you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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