Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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