at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
