so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
