i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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