If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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