Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
