Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize