We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
