how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
