What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
