Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So many bounce houses so little time
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
