i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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