Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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