Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
