dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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