Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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