UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
