oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
