I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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