So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Randomize
