It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
