dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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