Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize