he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
