have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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