1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
