I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
