Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
