Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
