He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
