hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize