When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
