and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
