i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
