through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
