if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
