she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Welp...herpes.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
