I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This baby is an asshole
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
