i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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