dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
