big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
