He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
