well most of my day revolves around power hour
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
