my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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