Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize