A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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