my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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